Greetings Safety Stuff Subscriber,

I'm glad we're together again--even if it's only in the digital world.

Monday, I hosted two half-day sessions for American Water in North/Central Jersey. I was exhausted when the day ended but I sure had a fun time. Lots of laughs and learning. Thanks again Kevin. See you in May.

HERE ARE THE WINNERS!

Jackie and I had a blast singing the safety and health song parodies. There were so many to choose from. We want to thank everyone who sent in lyrics. It was tough to pick the winners. Here they are:

First Place:
"SAFE DRESSED MAN"
by Jim-Bob Williams from Dow

Second Place:
"PROPANE"
by Dennis Hoaglin from Nichols Aluminum

Third Place:
"BIG BAD JOHN"
by Bill Mars from Owens Corning

Honorable Mention:
WORK IT SAFELY
by Fred Koepke from Academy Sports + Outdoors

Instead of having a safety and health meeting/promotion idea winner this week I've used the first article section for the four winning lyrics (I added an Honorable Mention because we got so many cool entries.) Also, be sure to check out the last section where I've included what Kristen L. Bullock from Comcast sent in for the contest. It's not a song exactly, but it is very funny.

1st Place

SAFE DRESSED MAN
words by Jim-Bob Williams (sung to the melody from "Sharp Dressed Man" by ZZ Top)

STAC Card, steel shoes
I always know where I am goin' to.
Side shields, no ties,
Drivin' to Zero is the reason why.
Want them statistics just as low as we can
Coz OSHA goes crazy 'bout a safe dressed man.

29 CFR,
ANSI certified is what we are
Locked out, tagged out
Being careful's what I'm talkin' about.
We plan the work, and then we work the plan
Coz OSHA goes crazy 'bout a safe dressed man.

Lab coat, hard hat,
being protected is just where it's at.
Tyveks, ear plugs,
Don't cut stuff without my mesh gloves.
We get inspected but won't be in a jam
Coz OSHA goes crazy 'bout a safe dressed man.

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2nd Place

PROPANE
words by Dennis Hoaglin (sung to the melody from "Cocaine" by J.J. Cale)

If you wanna get chilled, blown up or killed-- PROPANE.
Forget the rules, act like a fool -- PROPANE.
Its a gas, its a gas, its a gas -- PROPANE.

If it leaks from a hose, it'll freeze off your nose --- PROPANE
And if splashed in the face, you'll be blinded and maced -- PROPANE
Wear the shield! Wear the gloves! Don't be dumb! -- PROPANE

If you ain't got no brain, try a smoke or a flame -- PROPANE.
A bad way to die, you can kiss it good-bye -- PROPANE.
Don't get hurt, don't get burnt, be alert -- PROPANE.

A tank overfilled is a bomb that can kill -- PROPANE.
When you see a white puff, the tank's had enough -- PROPANE.
Shut it off, shut it off, shut it off! -- PROPANE.

When you fill up your truck don't bet on your luck -- PROPANE.
Follow the rules if you wanna be cool -- PROPANE!
Its a gas, its a gas, its a gas -- PROPANE.

***********************************

3rd Place

BIG BAD JOHN
words by Bill Mars (sung to the melody from "Big Bad John" by Dean and Roy Acuff)

Every morning at the plant you could see him arrive
He stood 6 foot even, weighing 245
Kinda slim at the shoulders and broad at the hips
And everyone knew, he was gonna slip!!
Big John . . . Big Bad

John His shoes were worn and the soles were slick
But everyone knew not to offer a safety tip!
He's fell before and it's sure to happen again
The question was. . . when?
Big John. . . Big Bad John

As he struggled to climb the ladder
We wanted to say something. . .
But what would it matter . . .
Big John was an angry old cuss
And he's worked more years than any of us!
Big John . . . Big Bad John

John had a family, we knew he did
Someone cared about that ornery old cuss
If only one of us . . .
We stood by watching as he climbed the ladder
Watching and waiting. . . for the big splatter.
Big John . . . Big Bad John

From back of the room, we heard a fuss
Was someone yelling at us?
Quick as a light, someone walked by
Who was that guy?
When he spoke you could hear the roof rumble
"John get down from there, before you tumble"
Big John . . . Big Bad John

John came down the ladder
Wondering what was wrong, what's the matter?
A look at those worn shoes and he grinned
You're right . . . Safety Guy, I'll get the right shoes . . .
before I do that again
Thanks for caring, you're really one of us!
Thanks for caring . . . about this old cuss
Big John . . . Big Bad John

Feeling fine and wearing shoes that shine
Big John . . . Big BAD JOHN!

***********************************

Honorable Mention

WORK IT SAFELY
words by Fred Koepke (sung to the melody from "Take It Easy" by the Eagles)

I was workin' in a warehouse down in southern California,
Took a shortcut just to get the job done.
Lifted wrong, oh Lord! Hurt my spinal cord!
Got a herniated disc, C-1.

Work it safely. Work it safely.
Don't take a chance; don't risk your back; let's lift correctly.
Use your legs and not your back,
Let's lift it right. Plan your attack.
Don't lift something to heavy alone,
And work it safely.

Well I was drivin' on my forklift up in the Windy City,
And I tried to turn a corner too fast.
Flipped my truck right o'er. Starin' at the floor,
Thinkin' maybe that I'd breathed my last.

Drive it safely, I don't mean maybe
Don't let your speeding ways endanger those around you.
There's a reason for those rules.
Folks ignoring them are fools.
Work's safer w' the right tools.
Let's work it safely.

Whether working in a coal mine or in the corner grocery store,
In the country or out on a dock,
Work it safe my friend,
You'll go home again,
In one piece after punching that clock.

Work it safely, I don't mean maybe.
At work or play, work safe today, do it correctly.
(Work it safe. Work it safe. Play it safe. Play it safe. Work it safe. Work it safe, etc.)
You know we gotta wo-oo-rk it safely.
You know we're gonna play-ay it safely.

"I Have an Earache"

2000 B.C.--Eat this herb.

A.D. 1000--That herb is from the devil. Please chant.

A.D. 1750--Chanting is from the devil. Drink this potion.

A.D. 1930--That potion is snake oil. Here, take this pill.

A.D. 1980--That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic.

A.D. 2000--That antibiotic has chemicals in it. Here, eat this herb.

Dear Richard,

I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for participating in our conference this last spring. You did a wonderful job of drawing people in, maintaining their interest and delivering a message that we all can take back and use immediately.

We also have to thank ExxonMobil for their financial cooperation. By partnering with a large business, we were able procure a nationally recognized speaker for our attendees.

We have received very positive feed back from our participants on both sessions. Many stated that you were the best speaker that we have had in our ten-year history. It leaves us wondering how we will top your performance for our future conferences; you are an excellent presenter and a hard act to follow.

Sincerely,

Travis S. Lindskog
MS Director of Safety Services
Montana Safety Services Council

If you'd like the same kind of results at your next convention or employee day (or are looking for ways to improve your safety & health culture) contact Michele Lucia (972-899-3411 michele@richardhawkinc.com) or click on the link at the end of this email message.

If you'd like to see a video of yours truly go to my safety website www.makesafetyfun.com

For safety's sake, I try not to go to the ATM at night. I also try not to go with my four-year-old who screams, "We've got money! We've got money!"

--Paul Clay

Though Kristen's entry didn't win the parody contest (we didn't think it fit enough as a song), I still had to include it in Safety Stuff. It's based on the Bud Light commercials that celebrated unusual jobs. I think it's witty and hilarious. (And in this case, obviously a lesson in what NOT to do.) I will send Kristen a thank you package for sure.

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DRIVING
Words in ( ) are sung.

Comcast Presents--Real Men of Genius. (Real men of genius.)

Today we salute you Mr. Following too closely cable van driver. (Mr. Following too closely cable van driver.)

Anyone can give the other vehicles room, but it takes real guts to drive 2" off the bumper of that soccer Mom's minivan loaded with thirteen screaming kids. (Can't find the soccer field.)

One wrong move and, you have all thirteen kids in your van. (Fruit roll ups flying.)

Just remember if that soccer Mom suddenly slams on her brakes and you plow into the back of her you will always have a job with us. (No, Not Really.)

So, here's to you oh ruler of the road because someone has to test those brakes and that someone is you. (Brakes are overrated.)

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DRILLING

Comcast Presents--Real Men of Genius (Real Men of Genius)

Today we salute you Mr. Not Paying Attention to Where I am Drilling Guy. (Mr. Not Paying Attention to Where I am Drilling Guy)

Who needs a tape measure when you have a magic eye? (Abracadabra)

What's on the other side of that wall? It's always a surprise! (I Love Surprises)

Is it a bathtub, a electrical box or a kitten? (What happened to Sprinkles?)

So here's to you oh Duke of the drill, because when the drilling gets tough you get tougher!